When to Get Marriage Counseling

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The belief of meeting your soul mate, having a whirlwind courtship, and living happily ever after, is quite popular. What fairy tales don’t reveal is that marriage requires hard work. You often don’t think of the tools to manage challenges when you get into a relationship.

When do you know it is time to consider visiting a marriage counselor?

How You Know It’s Time for Marriage Counseling

1. When There’s a Lack of Communication

The only way to maintain a lasting connection with your spouse is by communicating. Misunderstandings can be very frustrating and can cause other unproductive behaviors, which can be damaging to the relationship. Communication in marriage is everything.

It is not just about how often you talk to each other but also how well you understand and connect. If you or your spouse is always complaining of misunderstandings and not being heard, then your marriage is in trouble.

2. When You Start Keeping Secrets

Honesty and trust are the foundation of any relationship. If any of the partners is keeping secrets, I can bet the relationship is in trouble. Although telling the truth can be humbling and difficult, openness can make the relationship thrive. 

If you feel like you suspect your partner is keeping secrets from you or you are not able to trust your partner, you should seek help before things gets worse.

3. When You Start Contemplating an Affair

The desire to cheat shows that you want something new and different from what you have. Although a relationship can still grow and the partners can bond well after cheating, prevention is better than cure. If you both commit to counseling and are honest, you can save your marriage.

4. When There Is Financial Dishonesty

Many marriage problems revolve around financial issues. However, financial unfaithfulness comes down to mistrust and lack of communication.

Financial problems arise due to a spouse hiding money, lying of one’s spending habits, and attempting to control family finances solely. It is vital to seek help before it gets out of hand.

5. When You Start Playing Blame Games

If you ever find yourself wishing that your spouse could change for things to be alright, then you are placing your relationship failures on your spouse. Marital problems are often complex and result from both parties. Putting all the blame on your partner without checking your contribution to the problems can make the issue worse. 

Marriage counseling helps spouses in identifying the part they have played in creating the marriage problems. Once you know the part you have contributed, you are halfway to solving the problem.

6. When There’s No Connection

If you feel like you are with your roommate rather than your soul mate, you probably need to visit a marriage counselor. When you stop enjoying each other’s company and with intimacy waning, are serious red flags which you should handle immediately. 


Many people have a hard time admitting they are facing relationship challenges and view visiting a marriage counselor as a sign of weakness. But that is quite the opposite as seeking a marriage counselor is a sign of a strong desire to make your relationship work, showing you are the kind of person who does not easily give up.

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