Love & Relationships

The Most Common Signs Of Incompatibility In A Relationship

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Everyone loves a happy ending. When you meet someone who is everything you have dreamed of and decide to be in a relationship, you start envisioning a happily ever after. But this is not always the case.

In relationships that end up in breakups and divorces, often, the separation is not because the two parties do not love each other, but because they are not compatible.

For this reason, it is essential that before you are emotionally invested in a relationship, you should ascertain that you are compatible with your partner. But gauging whether you are a perfect match with someone you may already like is not easy.

This is why we’ve put together most of the common signs of incompatibility in a relationship. But first, let’s understand what compatibility in a relationship means.

What Is Compatibility In A Relationship?

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You have probably heard couples refer to their significant others as soul mates or best friends. Some even go ahead to attribute the success of their unions to have married their best friend. But what they mean is that they married someone they are compatible with.

See, compatibility in a relationship refers to a partner’s ability to accept and respect each other’s differences and enjoy one another’s company. It means that you are not constantly trying to change your partner into something they are not.

Most people will initially get into relationships for the passion, physical attraction, connection, and lust they feel towards each other. But as soon as the honeymoon phase, you know when you cannot keep your hands off each other ends, most couples go their separate ways.

This is because you quickly realize that your partner may have values you cannot stand. Compatibility is the glue that makes relationships last. Therefore, before you decide to commit to someone, you should ascertain that the person has values that you can tolerate without feeling miserable.

Why Is Compatibility Important In A Relationship?

Each partner in a relationship has flaws. But when you are in a relationship with someone you are compatible with, you see past these flaws. The following are further reasons why compatibility is vital in a relationship:

Reduces Chances Of A Divorce

A marriage is supposed to be forever. But today, there is a surge in divorce rates. This is because most people today marry partners they are not compatible with.

Most couples use initial physical attraction as a parameter for marriage; therefore, they do not evaluate their compatibility. So, a few years into the union, you realize that you have nothing in common with your partner or disagree on most aspects, resulting in divorce.

The worst thing about divorce is that it does not affect the couples only. It also affects people close to them, including the children born into the marriage. Therefore, to eliminate the chance of your marriage ending in a divorce, marry someone you are compatible with.

Builds Confidence

You cannot please your partner if you are not compatible. They are likely to find fault in everything you do, resulting in self-doubt and low self-esteem. Oh unto you, if you constantly need approval from the people around to boost your self-confidence.

Protect yourself from emotional turmoil and a dent in your self-confidence and worth by being on the lookout for incompatibility signs in a relationship.

Commons Signs Of Incompatibility In A Relationship

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So how can you tell that you are compatible with your significant other? The following are some red flags of incompatibility in a relationship:

1.   Differences about future goals and plans

If you are in a relationship with someone, you should be curious about their plans and goals. For instance, you could ask whether they plan to get married in the future or have kids, to mention a few.

If you plan on getting married in the future and your partner does not, then it is a sign that you are not compatible. You can only be compatible with someone who has plans, especially on crucial matters such as kids and marriage that align with yours. Otherwise, you will set yourself up for a broken relationship.

2.   Strained communication

Communication is vital. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or marriage. However, the ability to communicate with each other effectively can help work towards a perfect union.

Therefore, if you are in a relationship where you feel that you cannot freely express yourself or where you think your partner does not listen to you, then chances are that you are incompatible. When communication is okay in a relationship, partners can quickly resolve any arising conflicts.

3.   Different sex drives

Sex is one of the most crucial aspects of any relationship. Having a fulfilling sex life is often a key to a lasting relationship.

However, people differ when it comes to their sex drives. For instance, you may be okay with having sex once a week, whereas your partner wants it every day. Now when one party is not satisfied, it will lead to struggles in a relationship.

Therefore, before you get into a relationship and decide to make a long-term engagement, ensure that you are on the same page regarding your sex drives to avoid constant feuds.

4.   Different financial values

The issue about finances is often the elephant in the room in many relationships. This is because some couples do not see eye to eye when it comes to their financial values.

For instance, one partner may be a spendthrift such that once there is money in their account, they go for a shopping spree, while the other party likes to save or invest in projects that could bring in profits in the future. The difference in such a couple’s financial discipline will be a constant source of arguments.

Therefore, you should be on the watch out for your partner’s financial values to gauge whether you are compatible or not.


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Life is too short to waste your time in a bad relationship. The more time you spend with the wrong person, the more you reduce your chances of meeting your soul mate. Therefore, familiarize yourself with these signs of incompatibility in a relationship and evaluate your union to help you make the best suitable decision.

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