Generally, breakups are heart-wrenching. But when the love of your life blindsides you and asks for an end to what you deem a beautiful relationship, that’s more devastating.
Often, it feels like the end of the world, and moving on becomes impossible. After all, you saw a whole future with this person. What changed? But don’t fret, breakups like any other hurt are normal, and there are several proven ways of moving on from someone you love so much.
I’m here to show you how to move on even when the pain is too much and the process seems impossible. I’ll guide you through it.
1. Accept the Situation for What It Is
Many people hope after a breakup, trusting their partner will return. We always argue and make up; why would this be different? Of course, you want to stay optimistic and give it time, but that approach may not always work in your favor.
So, to avoid languishing in more pain, come to terms with the reality and accept the situation for what it is.
Accepting that someone you love so much doesn’t want you anymore is hard as hell. However, when you’re clear on this fact, it becomes easier to implement the rest of the tips in this list.
2. Feel All Your Emotions
Part of accepting reality means dealing with the wave of emotions. One minute you think you’re okay, and the next, you want to curl up in a corner and cry for hours. The aftermath of a breakup is an uncomfortable period.
However, as much as you feel the urge to suppress these emotions, it’s better to let it all out. Cry if you must; blast a heartbreak playlist and cry it all out. Get a new journal and pour out your emotions if you’re into journaling.
It will be heart-warming to read about this period after you heal. Some people turn to spirituality, and others opt to write letters to their exes. All these methods are effective, but remember, you don’t have to deliver those letters.
Some might ask, “what if I’m angry and just want to curse out my ex?” Of course, yelling obscenities at your ex might release some emotions, but you don’t have to do it in their face.
Instead, you can yell in your room or talk to your best friend as you process these emotions. Acting out in front of someone who broke up with you only gives them more power over your emotions.
3. Lean On Your Support System
It is normal to feel ashamed when you break up with someone you love so much. After all, you hyped them up to your family and friends, shared pictures on social media, and held them in high regard.
Unfortunately, the shame might drive you to hide from your family and friends as you try to get over this heartbreaking hurdle.
But believe it or not, you’ll need a solid support system now more than ever.
When you share your pain, it lets you know that you’re not alone. Your family and friends will share their experiences, which is actually very healing. In addition, having people who love you around boosts your morale, and before you know it, you’ll be back to your old self.
If you don’t have a support system, don’t worry. You can reach out to a relationship therapist who will help you navigate this period. Furthermore, talking to a therapist will help you understand why and where the relationship broke down and how to bounce back to your old self.
4. Ease Off Social Media
Let’s face it, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and other social media platforms make it very hard to move on after a breakup.
You see their pictures and videos every day, hanging out with everyone but you. It’s even worse when you have to witness as they move on with someone else while you’re at home crying and hoping they come back to their senses.
So, why not eliminate this grueling experience and take time off social media? You can uninstall the app or limit the notifications for an extended period as you recover from the hurt.
Alternatively, as you ease off, you can choose to block and unfollow them completely. If you have mutual friends who are likely to post pictures of your ex, you can mute or unfollow them until you’re ready to interact with their content again.
Here’s another pro tip; once you break up, consider deleting them off your contact list or blocking them. That way, you won’t have the urge to call or text them begging them to reconsider. Cringe!
5. Get Rid of Physical Reminders
Gifts, cute notes, and personal belongings are all part of a romantic relationship. Maybe he gave you his favorite sweatshirt or bought you cute shoes that definitely remind you of him.
Guess what? These items will only add to your pain after a breakup. After all, you still love him so much, and you’d take him back in a heartbeat.
Therefore, as part of the healing process, it is vital that you get rid of all the memorabilia. You can donate, discard, or sell the items you don’t want. However, you don’t have to get rid of everything forever.
If you love those diamond earrings and can’t imagine yourself without those cute sneakers, you can store them away for a while. Similarly, don’t feel silly if you want to return some things. You can send them to your ex’s house through a friend or delivery service.
6. Give Yourself Time to Heal
After a devastating breakup, some people will want to drown themselves in work, hang out with friends round the clock, or do anything that helps them forget the pain. This approach might work at the beginning, but it is not sustainable.
Soon enough, the unprocessed pain will catch you off-guard, and you’ll lash out.
The best way to move on from someone you love is to give yourself space to heal. How about you take some time to yourself? If you’re up to it, you can go on a solo vacation where you’ll rediscover yourself.
Alternatively, you can start going to the gym regularly and get that banging revenge body, or you can take yourself on solo dates.
As you take time to yourself, you’ll begin to appreciate your own company and build back your confidence. After all, a popular saying states, “Your solitude will be a support and a home for you.”
7. Forgive Them
Hard as it may seem, genuine forgiveness will help you move on from someone you love so much. You don’t have to do it immediately, nor do you have to tell them directly. But as you process your pain, please leave some room for forgiveness, and when you’re ready, release yourself from their control.
In addition, when you forgive, healing is accelerated, and before you know it, you’ll be back to your old self, falling in love again. Wouldn’t you love that?
Breaking up with someone you love so much is horribly heart-wrenching. However, as much as it feels like the end of the world, it’s not. Follow this tips and be patient with yourself because languishing in sorrow only slows you down.
And when it seems impossible, remind yourself one thing. You’re a catch, and it’s their loss. Okay? Now, get up and find something exciting to do, babe. You’ll be fine!