How to Look for Love When You’ve Lost Hope

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Maya Angelou once said, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” Although finding a life partner seems harder after several heartbreaks, it is possible to dust yourself and get back into the dating game.

If you feel like you’ve given your all and nothing seems to give when it comes to love, here are tips and tricks to help. Looking for love when you’ve lost hope can be draining. However, your soulmate is still out there, and you deserve to give love another chance. 

Tips to Help You Find Love

Have you been through many relationships and need new ways to find love? Below are strategies to look for love when you have lost hope.

1. Believe in Yourself 

Before going into the dating world to find a suitable partner, you must believe in yourself. It does not matter if you’ve been through heartbreak and have always run into the wrong people.

The first step is to believe that you’re worthy of love. Don’t let your mistakes in previous relationships define who you are. 

All this can drive you crazy, but it is avoidable by owning your mistakes. At the same time, avoid inner insecurities that prevent you from seeing people for who they are since you over-analyze yourself. 

2. Transform Yourself into Your Ideal Partner 

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It’s easy to state the qualities you desire in a partner confidently. However, more often than not, you don’t possess those qualities.

You must transform yourself into that person before you demand the same from potential life partners. Asking for values you don’t possess is like looking for a sense of comfort instead of true love. 

Values to desire and possess include:

  • Patience
  • Commitment 
  • Trust 
  • Forgiveness 
  • Authenticity

3. Stop Focusing on the Negatives

When you spend a lot of time thinking there’s no love, there’s a higher chance you won’t come across it. Understandably, the pressure to get into a relationship causes constant worry, stopping you from living life and enjoying it. However, you should turn the lemons into lemonade and take the time to build your existing relationships or friendships. 

Get more comfortable with yourself by working on your insecurities and staying healthy. Soon, the pressure will reduce, and you’ll regain hope of finding love. So, always stay positive! 

4. Be Patient 

When walking down the street, seeing couples walking hand in hand will trigger you. This will constantly remind you that you’re alone, but not for long. Good things take time; your life partner might be just around the corner if you’re patient enough.

Since it’s easier said than done, here are some tips to help you build patience:

  • Learn to be happy on your own.
  • Don’t force situations or relationships.
  • Identify your needs and wants.
  • Go on random dates.
  • Let go of unfulfilling relationships.  

5. Enjoy Life 

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Finding love is a small part of living life.

Putting your energy into the things you love and discovering more about yourself distracts you from sulking since you don’t have a partner. Undoubtedly, it sucks not to love and be loved, but there’s more to life, and you deserve to experience every bit of it.

6. Focus More on Your Hobbies 

You’re more likely to find love after taking a step back from serial dating. This is because you’re less frantic and desperate. So, if bowling or horse riding is your thing, get back out there and have some fun!

You might meet someone who fits your criteria while doing what you love. That will bring you closer since you have something in common. 

You now know what to do when looking for love, even though it seems impractical. However, a common question is what to avoid during this grueling period. 

What Not to Do When Looking for Love 

You’re the only one among your colleagues without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Unfortunately, that stops you from going on double dates with them since you have nobody to bring along.  Despite this challenge, here are some things to avoid:

·       Never Come on Too Strong 

Knowing what you want from a prospective partner is a good thing. However, saying all you need from a partner on the first date is off-putting. To some, it might be intimidating, and to others, it seems like you’re too rigid to let things flow naturally. 

·       Avoid Being too Rigid 

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A hardworking, kind, and dedicated partner is to die for.  Still, people have many other positive attributes, so confining them into a box becomes a huge turnoff.

Imagine going on a date, and it turns into an interview. That becomes the most unnatural way to know someone. 

·       Putting up a Performance 

People tend to go out of their way to impress a potential partner. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to put up a facade for long.

So, the best thing to do is stay authentic. In addition, feeling the need to put up a show means you’re not the right fit for the person and vice versa. 

·       Carrying Past Mistakes into New Relationships

Your past relationship should teach you what to do and what to avoid. Of course, every relationship is different, but asking yourself what you did wrong builds a strong foundation for a healthy relationship. Before diving into a new relationship, do some work on yourself to unlearn and correct anything that stops you from being happy. 


Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash

Nobody promises that finding love after several heartbreaks will be easy. Still, that should not stop you from giving your all and trying again.

Don’t pay too much attention to loneliness and the thirst for love. Instead, focus on improving yourself, and love will find you. After all, you love yourself more in the process, creating room for someone to come in and love you too!

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