Love & Relationships

How To Cope With An Abusive Spouse

How did it come to this? You recall how you two met, your first date, and the perfect life you had together, and it seems like it was a dream. You try to approach your partner to talk about it, but they have created an unfair playing ground because they want to feel in control.

However, you can’t remain in an abusive relationship anymore. You feel the need to change things because the more you sit on the matter, the more hurt you get. Yet, you can’t leave because you’re afraid to love again or find new love. So, how do you cope with your situation?

Tips That Might Help You To Cope With An Abusive Partner

Be True To Yourself

If you’re in an abusive relationship, you might question what is normal and not in a relationship because your spouse has made it look like everything is okay. So, accept something is wrong in your relationship.

Consequently, identify those consistent bad behaviors coming from your partner. This is a painful process, but the truth will give you a starting point when dealing with those behaviors.

Learn About Emotional Abuse

Abuse that is coming from someone who is supposed to be your cheerleader is disturbing. You might feel like you’re the problem. So, find books or videos about physical or emotional abuse or whichever kind of abuse you’re going through.

The information you’ll gather from the books will help you identify how your spouse gains the upper hand or patterns they use. Moreover, you’ll understand the mind of the spouse.

Stand Up for Yourself

If you’ve tried talking to your spouse before, but it did not bear fruit, you shouldn’t worry. At this point, you know how the mind of an abuser works from the books and videos you’ve read, as advised above.

Tell your partner that you know they are abusing you and ask them to stop. They will try to make you feel like you’re the problem but don’t back down. However, ensure you approach your spouse when they are calm and stop the conversation immediately they turn abusive.

Set Communication Boundaries

Watch out for abusive language and address it immediately your partner uses it. Ask them to be respectful and try to finish the first communication you had about offensive language.

Employ Consequences

If your spouse fails to change their behavior, set consequences, you’re sure you’ll carry through. For instance, if they get abusive, you can decide not to reply to their request until they apologize. Evaluate different applicable consequences and employ them until your partner changes.

Have A Self-Care Regime

Listening to abusive language can be exhausting and damaging to your health. Exercise daily to wear off the building stress and frustrations – love and care for yourself, including treating yourself with an outdoor meal, massage, and more.

Join A Support Group

Avoid isolating yourself from people because you feel embarrassed talking to them. Instead, join a support group of people who are experiencing similar abuse as yours. Talk about your troubles and follow the advice offered by the coach.

Take Away

Abusive relationships wear a person down. But you deserve better. Therefore, use the tips above, and you might cope with an abusive partner before things get out of hand.


  1. Thank you! Spousal abuse is something you can’t realise on day, mainly because one is deeply in love. I agree we have to be on the look out.
    I will surely read more on ‘the resturant critic wife meets’

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